everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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