Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Someone came in the potted fern
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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