it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
