Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
