So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
