I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize