Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
