at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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