i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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