He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
