IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
