A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm too high and old for this...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
