Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just want to make out with him forever
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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