The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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