I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
