Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize