i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
