She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
