okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
pray to the hookup gods
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
