this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize