Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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