Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
