cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
