Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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