Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
How's work?
Spinning.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
