Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I am available for nakedness
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
