I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
