I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
