Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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