big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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