Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
