We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
