Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
No subtext here. People are naked.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
