Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
