forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
