Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
