you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize