There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
