I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
