What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
