Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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