We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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