cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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