Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
