Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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