I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You need Xanax blowdarts
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize