I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
