just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
