I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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