Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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