I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sext me about skeletons
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
