He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
