On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Found the puke drawer
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
