My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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