your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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