So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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