they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
