You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I want her autograph on my taint
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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