if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
