I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
