What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
