Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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