Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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