He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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